Monday, December 12, 2005


TOO BIG TO PUT BEHIND


Disappointment and loss are a part of every life. Many times we can put them behind us and get on with the rest of our lives. But not everything is amenable to this approach. Some things are too big or too deep to do this, and we will have to leave important parts of ourselves behind if we treat them in this way. These are the places where wisdom begins to grow in us. It begins with suffering that we do not avoid or rationalize or put behind us. It starts with the realization that our loss, whatever it is, has become a part of us and has altered our lives so profoundly that we cannot go back to the way it was before.
The thing about the many strategies we use to shelter ourselves from feeling loss is that none of them leads to healing. Although denial, rationalization, substitution, avoidance, and the like may numb the pain of loss, every one of them hurts us in some far more fundamental ways. None is respectful toward life or toward process. None acknowledges our capacity for finding meaning or wisdom.

8 comments:

Nabeel said...

I agree that somethings are just too big or too difficult to put behind but here's a story:

I was attending a conference once and i met a renowned psychiatrist. She was helping soliders at that time with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). So i told her that human eye wasn't meant to see this much death that the solider's see. They are gruesome sights that one can never forget, and then asked her what does she tell the soliders so they can cope.

She asked me, what do you do? I told her that I'm in Technology and she told me this:

"I dont tell the soliders to forget what they saw, because they can't. But what I tell them is to take those thoughts away from your DESKTOP and put them in your HARDDRIVE .. once they do that, with time those thoughts will get buried somewhere in the hard drive where it will be too hard to find"

Hope this helps

Fahd Mirza said...

The ups should make us modest and downs should make us durable.

By experience, I have come to learn that Time is the biggest healer. So dont get too engrossed in finding the instant solution, instead find a way to pass the time quickly.

Bloody_Hell said...

Nabeel and Fahd said it all...Wow guys!

how r ya sis?
catch ya laterz

Nadi

Fahd Mirza said...

At your service, ma'am !!!

samrina said...

Thnx guys for the comments.

Well Nabeel n Fahd u both r talking of samething in a way i.e. "TIME", yeah right time is the biggest healer and adding to it 2 things matters in it one human nature like a sensitive person takes more time whereas an easy going person less and secondly the type of loss or disappointment.

Thnx Nadia i m fine, hope u n all around u'll b fine as well :) :)

takecare all

samrina

Champ - Love Hound said...

What has pased, it's gone. Just gone.

God bless you....

Human said...

You're too young to know these things Samrina. I had to live a half live to begin to learn them. Unfair! Ok enough jocularity. Here is one of my own-

To yearn is to hurt

What Love has no pain

Father, Mother, Sibling and Lover

Each one a severe loss

Tis true there is no Love without a cost

samrina said...

Thnx alot Human for the comments, well i m in this world since last 24 years so i m not taht young :) :)

anyhow yes age factors matters but sometimes we learn n experience things b4 time. I guess one's interest, sometimes circumstances he/she passing through, and many other things alike matters and teaches us lesson.

Yes u r right i do agree with wat u left as ur own friend :), adding to it not only love but i think for everything we've to pay or sacrifice something, life is not that easy but still its beautiful n we all do want to live it :)

righto??????

takecare
samrina